Curated Persona, Private Record

Two portraits from the same hand

Content warning: domestic abuse, strangulation.

During the period my children and I were dealing with domestic abuse and its aftermath, a Portland based DJ and “producer” who goes by Xavia Purp became involved by posting bail for my ex of 20 years, Kyle Evan Morgan (44), also known online as Old Sick Dead.

Kyle has publicly presented himself as someone who shares Buddhist teachings through his art. In his criminal case, he was charged with multiple felony counts related to abuse, including strangulation. A CPS investigation also resulted in founded findings of abuse involving our children.

I am writing about this because public persona can be curated while the private record tells the truth.

What these images show, and why I am documenting them

I am sharing two drawings created by Kyle.

In the first image, the subject is rendered with softness and attention. The lines are careful. The face is treated with dimensionality and tenderness. The overall effect is elevation. It reads like devotion, or at least idealization. I cannot verify the identity of the person depicted, and I am not claiming certainty. I can only name what I observed in context: during this period, he repeatedly sketched the same woman in a consistently flattering light, and he had suggestive photos of a woman on his phone.

In the second image, the style changes. The strokes are heavier. The face is captured in a harsher register. The linework is aggressive and compressed, as if the goal is not to understand the subject, but to reduce her.

I believe the second image reflects how he chose to capture me.

Even if a viewer knows nothing about the backstory, the contrast communicates something legible: one subject is treated as worthy of gentleness, and the other is treated as disposable.

That difference matters. Not because art is evidence of a crime by itself, but because the way someone repeatedly frames people can mirror the roles they assign them. Idealization for one. Devaluation for another. In relational harm, this pattern is not rare. It is one of the ways control stabilizes itself. Someone is lifted. Someone is diminished. The hierarchy becomes the story.

Why “public teachings” do not neutralize private harm

I have learned, painfully, that spiritual language and public virtue do not protect families. A public image can be sincere, polished, persuasive, and still function as cover. That is not an attack on a tradition. It is a warning about human behavior.

There is a particular kind of confusion that happens when someone who harms others also performs insight. It creates an internal contradiction in the observer, especially for survivors. The mind searches for reconciliation. The body stays alert. The nervous system tries to solve the puzzle because unsolved puzzles feel unsafe.

But the clearest measure is not the persona. It is the impact.

A teaching voice does not erase coercion. A spiritual aesthetic does not cancel violence. Art that gestures toward compassion does not outweigh what happened behind closed doors.

Why I am naming the bail involvement

I am naming the bail involvement because it is part of the ecosystem around harm. Abuse rarely survives on one person’s actions alone. It survives through enabling, minimization, and the comfort of “he does not seem like that.” When support is offered to someone facing serious allegations, the support often functions as a statement, whether intended or not. It can reinforce the public image. It can undermine the credibility of victims. It can increase pressure on survivors to stay quiet.

I am documenting this to keep the record coherent. I am not asking anyone to take action.

Boundaries and reader ethics

Please do not contact, harass, threaten, or dox anyone mentioned here. This is documentation, not a call to mobilize. If you are reading this and feel activated, pause. Do not outsource your nervous system to the internet. Do not turn my record into a pile-on.

My purpose is clarity.

A person can build a public identity that looks enlightened, creative, and safe. The private record can still tell a different story. When that happens, the record deserves to be named, preserved, and read without fantasy.

Portrait sketch associated with the name “Xavia Purp” in my records.

Portrait of me, drawn by Kyle Morgan (also known online as “Old Sick Dead”).